TEEN SAAL SE SAUDI MEIN HUN,
AB KIS KIS KU SAMJHAUN KAISA JIRUN

HONEWALE BEGUM POOCHRE “TUM KAB AARE”
SHAADI KU AUR KAIKU TARSAARE…???

BHAIYAN-BEHNO KU TOHFON KA INTEZAAR HAI
SAALE SAALIYAN MILNE KU BEQARAAR HAI

RENEWAL KU KAFEEL SATAARA,
CHUTTI JAINGE BOLETO DIRECT “EXIT” LAGARA

ENGINEER HAI NA BOLKE BAHENWAI AZAAD VISA BHIJAAYE
HUM LAAKHON KA KHARCHA KARKE,EK LAAKH B NAI BACHAAYE

RISHTEDAARAN POOCHRE ZAMEEN KAHAN LIYA,GHAR KAB BANARA???
HONEWALI JORU KU KYA KYA LAARA???

AB YAHAN KE HAALAATH KIS KIS KU SAMJHAUN,
RED SE GREEN COMPANY KU TRANSFER KAISA KARAUN???

ZINDAGI POORI PINDE MEIN MIL GAYI..
MUSIBATAAN KAM THE BOLETO AB NAUKRI BHI GAYI…

SAMAJHMEIN NAI AARA AB INDIA KAISA JAUN
SUSRAALWALON KU KYA MOOH DIKHAUN??

AMMA BOLTE BADI MUSHKIL SE MILI CHUTTI, BETA SHAADI KARLEKE AGLE MAHINE CHALE
JAATA

PAANCH JUMAGIYAN BHI HOGAYE,AB BAWA KU GHUSSA KAIKU NAI AATA??? YE SONCHETOCH DIL GHABRARA MERA

PLANE KI KHUSHI MEIN SAUDI TO AAGAYE MAGAR AB DIMAAGH PHIR JARA MERA….

YA ALLAH AB TUICH KUCH HAL NIKAAL

SAUDI SE SAHI SALAMAT SHAADI K MANDAP MEIN DAAL

QASAM KHARAUN PHIR SAUDI K NAAM KU NAI AATAUN

INDIA K 8-10 HAZAAR MEINCH GHAR CHALATAUN…

Operator : Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?
Customer: Yeah! Hold on….. My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610

Operator : OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. You are calling from you home number now.
Customer: (Astronished) How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : We are connected to the system, Sir.

Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza…
Operator : That’s not a good idea Sir.

Customer: How come?
Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.

Customer: What?… What do you recommend then?
Operator : Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it.
Customer: How do you know for sure?
Operator : You borrowed a book entitled ‘Popular Hokkien Dishes’ from the National Library last week, sir.

Customer: OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then.
Operator : That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450.

Customer: Can I pay by! credit card?
Operator : I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $1,51,758 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.

Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.
Operator : You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve even your overdraft limit.

Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?
Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.
Customer: What?
Operator : According to the details in system ,you own a motorcycle registration number 1123.
Customer: ” ????” (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)

Operator : Is there anything else, sir?
Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?
Operator : We normally would sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic… In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offer for you.

Customer: (now pissed) ***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))
Operator: Better watch your language sir. Remember on 15th July 2007 you were imprisoned for 2 months and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language against a policeman…?

Customer: Faints…

Patni Pati Ko Maar Rahi Thi
Padosi-Kyu Maar Rahi Ho?
Patni-Inko Call Kiya To 1Ladki Boli,
Aap Jisse Sampark Karna Chahate Ho,Wo Abhi Vyast Hai

An old man married a young Girl,

Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein

Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?

Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Donkey = eat + sleep

 Therefore:

 Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

 Therefore:

 Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

 In other words,

 A Human that doesn’t know how to enjoy = Donkey

 that

 works.

 ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++++

Equation 2

 Man = eat + sleep + earn money

 Donkey = eat + sleep

 Therefore:

Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:

 Man-earn money = Donkey

 In other words

Man who doesn’t earn money = Donkey

> > ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++

 Equation 3

 Woman= eat + sleep + spend

 Donkey = eat + sleep

 Therefore:

Woman = Donkey + spend

 Woman – spend = Donkey

 In other words,

 Woman who doesn’t spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++

 To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

 Man who doesn’t earn money = Woman who

 doesn’t

 spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!

And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

 So, We have:

 Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend

 money

 Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily

together!

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii.  After going over all the cost info, she asked, ‘Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown.  I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.”  Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.”  Her response … click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did.  I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.  He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”

I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?”  I said, “No.” He said, “But they look so close on the map.”

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a one-hour lay over in Dallas.  When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”

A nice lady just called.  She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am.  I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?”  I said, “No, why do you ask?” She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I’m overweight, is there any connection?”  After putting her on hold for a minute while I “looked into it”  (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is
FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?”  I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.”

A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes.”  I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, “Yeah, whatever.”

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.  After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”  I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.”

A woman called to make reservations, “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York.”  The agent was at a loss for words.  Finally, the agent: “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”  Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer.  After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.”  The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly.  Everyone knows where it is. Check your  map!”  The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?”  “That’s it!  I knew it was a big animal!”