Posts Tagged ‘Quotes’
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
English is really crazy.There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn’t it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
Mind Boggling…
Now, take a look at this…
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%…
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words,
A Human that doesn’t know how to enjoy = Donkey
that
works.
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++++
Equation 2
Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money
Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey
In other words
Man who doesn’t earn money = Donkey
> > ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++
Equation 3
Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman – spend = Donkey
In other words,
Woman who doesn’t spend = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Man who doesn’t earn money = Woman who
doesn’t
spend
So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!
So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend
money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily
together!
This is a touching poem someone has forwarded to me, Some ignorants cannot control their desires and innocents have to pay for their mistakes.
Sweet boy writing to mom
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom, The way you said I would.
I didn’t drink and drive, Mom, Even though the others said I should. I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom, As everyone is driving out of sight. As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I’d get home in one piece. Because of the way you raised me, So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom, But as I pulled out into the road, The other car didn’t see me, Mom, And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say, “The other guy is drunk,” Mom,
And now I’m the one who will pay. I’m lying here dying, Mom…. I wish you’d get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon. There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine. I hear the medic say, Mom, I’ll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn’t drink. It was the others, Mom. The others didn’t think.
He was probably at the same party as I. The only difference is, he drank And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life. I’m feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife. The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, And I don’t think it’s fair. I’m lying here dying And all he can do is stare. Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave. And when I go to heaven, Mom, Put “GOOD BOY ” on my grave. Someone should have told him, Mom, Not to drink and drive. If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive. My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I’m becoming very scared. Please don’t cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there. I have one last question, Mom. Before I say good bye. I didn’t drink and drive, So why am I the one to die? Someone took the effort to write this poem. So please, forward this to as many people as you can. And see if we can get a chain going around the world that will make people understand that don’t mix drinking and driving.
Ek Trainee tha anjana sa……….
coding karne se woh darta tha……..
Copy paste karke, idhar udhar se…………..
pooch ke coding kiya karta tha…………..
Choree choree…….. chupke chupke……….
discussions mein soya karta tha…
Jab delivery honee hotee thee
raat raat bhar jagta tha…
Kuch aata nahee tha usko…………
jane kaise deliver karta tha…………..
Jab bhee milta tha kisee doosre developer se,
unse poocha karta tha…
Coding kaisee hotee hai,………………
yeh coding kaisee hotee hai …………..?
Aur voh developers
bas yahee kah paate the…..
“Ankhe khulee ho ya ho band
deedar code ka hota hai…
kaise kahoo mai o yaro yeh code
kaise hota hai…..
tururururururururu ru ru ru ru ru….”
“Kya hai yeh jadoo hai koyee code jo chal jata hai,
fix karke bugs hazaro deliver ho jata hai…”
“Door kahee onsite per hote hai yeh sare faisle,
kaun jane koyee bug kab kaise kaha mile,
jiske naseeb mein ho likha
acceptance useeka hota hai…
kaise kahoon mai o yara yeh code
kaise chalta hai…
tururururururururu ru…………………..
Universal law of Love:
” Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money “
************ *
First law of Love:
” a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. “
************ *
Second law of Love:
” the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. “
************ *
Third law of Love:
” the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping .”
