Walekumassalam

 Main Khairiyat se hoon Aisa amma baba ki Sugar badhgayi Humare dost are next week main ya se sugar test karne ki machine aur sugar free ki sakkar bhijatu

Are kya ji mere amma bawa tumhare amma bawa nai hote Zara mohabbat se leke chalna Nai to logan tumhare upar ich ilzama dalte

Aur wo Mankhao college me kyku dale baby ku Shaher me dusre collega nai the Ya humare dosta bolre the Naye collega khule kate na Narayana, Chaitanya unla Jaan pe khade rahe jaisa padhate kate na wa kyku nai dale Khair ab ya se nikal k wa nakko dalo

 Paise ya jhad pe nai ugre Aur main dekhliya baby ku Fb pe main bhi Uska Baap hoon Par une meri beti ich hai 1 hushari kari dekho photo nai lagayi so aur usku data do ki photo lagana bhi nai

 Pura humare khandan peich gayi ine info kuch bhi nai di Par ye Raat Raat bhari jagi to sehat girti na To tum Uska charger chupa lo charging nai rahi to kaisa khulta phone Aur ab ye Saal akhri kardo bolo college ka

 Bas bhot padhli une humare ku usku naukri nai karana hai Main uske waste humare Dosto k beto se baat chalaru

Usku wo nargis photo studio me leke jake photua utarao Zara Aur leke jane se pehle Zara beauty parlor ku leke Jao Are hau bhai malom tumhare ku make up karne ata par usku mere ku pasand nai karna hai dusro ku dikhana rehta photo

Main sochru ya settle Ladke se karadena Uska Rishta Bas 1 baat ka khayal rakho ki une Facebook pe photo nai lagana aur video chat nai karna

Acha bablu ki baat une to pakka tumhare bhaiyo pe gaya tumhare Bhaiya kaunsa pehli baar me nikale the 10th Pure LLMF hai(Latak Latak k matric Fail)

Jando fikar nakko karo bas usku Zara computer pe hath saaf karlo bolo aur uski date of birth bada k passport nikalo main ya se visa bhijatu ya lake hand pe letu zalil ku

Bawa ya bail k jaisa rab rab k paise kamara une ayyashi karra Ya aya to malom hota paisa kisku bolte

Aur usku pulsar hona kate usku bolo bawa jahez me ayi so chetak 1985 se ghasre aur usku pulsar hona kate leke Jao bolo usku meri chetak aur RC tumhare paas rakho nai to une bech linga kai

 Haan wo car ki baat hogayi main ate kich dost airport ku lake khada kardeta humari car Aur ye bache bigadre so sob tumhare kamaa hai, tumhare kuich khahish thi na main baher jana so Main raha to uth ku laat baith ku laat de k line pe rakhta tha unlo ku

Khair dori apne hath me hai abhi main aru na alge Ramzaan me

Ab aru bole to tumhare lambe lista nakko banao samano k Ya bhi reta badhgaye aur custom wale nai chodre Aaj kal zyada saman

Acha family visa, hau shadi k time pe family visa tha par jub tumhara passport nai bana aur ab main jab bhi visa nikal ne k paise jamaica kartu tumhara phone ajata, Ammi ki tabiyat kharaab, bawa k testa karana hai, bhai ki shadi, Bhain ki salgira, bhanji ka rasam, Bhanje ka Haqiqa, Bazu walon ki ghar bharani

 Paise bhej dena padta tum ye kharche khatam kare to main family visa ka kuch karsaktu Acha wo humari Gaon ki zamin ka kya hua Tumhare mamu fasal k paise to dere na lake barabar

Acha wo Ghar ka kiraya Makandaro ku bolo ki humare shohar k kafeel ki Biwi margayi to uneich tanqa time pe nai dera next year se badhate bolo Main ya se ate time 3 4 sent k bottle lake settlement kardetu Are nai bhai din bhar Tumhari yaad ati Isiliye video chat kartu na 1 kaam karo jummerat k din amma baba aur bablu ku Baji k paas bhejdo aur baby ku bolo video chat start karke deti aur usku padhte baitho bolo Aur wo Nimbuz se call kara to Acha rehta bolke k kartu main Ya din bhar kaam rehta aur Tumhari yaad ati to main Tumhari photo dekh k khush hotu Wo laal sadi wali jisme tum bala khulle rakhe the nai wo Zara baby ki shadi hojane do aur bablu ya settle hogaya to main Exit laga k ajatu hyderabad ku Kiske waste karru main ye sob Tumlo k waste na Acha main jo bhi bolna hai next letter me likhruYe letter main apne hath se likha dekho Isku taweez banake galle me dallo Allah Hafiz Walekumassalam Main Khairiyat se hoon Aisa amma baba ki Sugar badhgayi Humare dost are next week main ya se sugar test karne ki machine aur sugar free ki sakkar bhijatu Are kya ji mere amma bawa tumhare amma bawa nai hote Zara mohabbat se leke chalna Nai to logan tumhare upar ich ilzama dalte Aur wo Mankhao college me kyku dale baby ku Shaher me dusre collega nai the Ya humare dosta bolre the Naye collega khule kate na Narayana, Chaitanya unla Jaan pe khade rahe jaisa padhate kate na wa kyku nai dale Khair ab ya se nikal k wa nakko dalo Paise ya jhad pe nai ugre Aur main dekhliya baby ku Fb pe main bhi Uska Baap hoon Par une meri beti ich hai 1 hushari kari dekho photo nai lagayi so aur usku data do ki photo lagana bhi nai Pura humare khandan peich gayi ine info kuch bhi nai di Par ye Raat Raat bhari jagi to sehat girti na To tum Uska charger chupa lo charging nai rahi to kaisa khulta phone Aur ab ye Saal akhri kardo bolo college ka Bas bhot padhli une humare ku usku naukri nai karana hai Main uske waste humare Dosto k beto se baat chalaru Usku wo nargis photo studio me leke jake photua utarao Zara Aur leke jane se pehle Zara beauty parlor ku leke Jao Are hau bhai malom tumhare ku make up karne ata par usku mere ku pasand nai karna hai dusro ku dikhana rehta photo Main sochru ya settle Ladke se karadena Uska Rishta Bas 1 baat ka khayal rakho ki une Facebook pe photo nai lagana aur video chat nai karna Acha bablu ki baat une to pakka tumhare bhaiyo pe gaya tumhare Bhaiya kaunsa pehli baar me nikale the 10th Pure LLMF hai(Latak Latak k matric Fail) Jando fikar nakko karo bas usku Zara computer pe hath saaf karlo bolo aur uski date of birth bada k passport nikalo main ya se visa bhijatu ya lake hand pe letu zalil ku Bawa ya bail k jaisa rab rab k paise kamara une ayyashi karra Ya aya to malom hota paisa kisku bolte Aur usku pulsar hona kate usku bolo bawa jahez me ayi so chetak 1985 se ghasre aur usku pulsar hona kate leke Jao bolo usku meri chetak aur RC tumhare paas rakho nai to une bech linga kai Haan wo car ki baat hogayi main ate kich dost airport ku lake khada kardeta humari car Aur ye bache bigadre so sob tumhare kamaa hai, tumhare kuich khahish thi na main baher jana so Main raha to uth ku laat baith ku laat de k line pe rakhta tha unlo ku Khair dori apne hath me hai abhi main aru na alge Ramzaan me Ab aru bole to tumhare lambe lista nakko banao samano k Ya bhi reta badhgaye aur custom wale nai chodre Aaj kal zyada saman Acha family visa, hau shadi k time pe family visa tha par jub tumhara passport nai bana aur ab main jab bhi visa nikal ne k paise jamaica kartu tumhara phone ajata, Ammi ki tabiyat kharaab, bawa k testa karana hai, bhai ki shadi, Bhain ki salgira, bhanji ka rasam, Bhanje ka Haqiqa, Bazu walon ki ghar bharani Paise bhej dena padta tum ye kharche khatam kare to main family visa ka kuch karsaktu Acha wo humari Gaon ki zamin ka kya hua Tumhare mamu fasal k paise to dere na lake barabar Acha wo Ghar ka kiraya Makandaro ku bolo ki humare shohar k kafeel ki Biwi margayi to uneich tanqa time pe nai dera next year se badhate bolo Main ya se ate time 3 4 sent k bottle lake settlement kardetu Are nai bhai din bhar Tumhari yaad ati Isiliye video chat kartu na 1 kaam karo jummerat k din amma baba aur bablu ku Baji k paas bhejdo aur baby ku bolo video chat start karke deti aur usku padhte baitho bolo Aur wo Nimbuz se call kara to Acha rehta bolke k kartu main Ya din bhar kaam rehta aur Tumhari yaad ati to main Tumhari photo dekh k khush hotu Wo laal sadi wali jisme tum bala khulle rakhe the nai wo Zara baby ki shadi hojane do aur bablu ya settle hogaya to main Exit laga k ajatu hyderabad ku Kiske waste karru main ye sob Tumlo k waste na

Tumlogo ki bhot yaad aati, padhsu woh ‘Chitthi aayi hai’ Gaana sunke rona aara tha… Apni Shaadi ki cassete aur Bachcho ki saalgirah ki cd lagaake tumlo ku dekhlete rehtu…

Padhsu hamare dost hyderabad ku jaare the, unku airport ku chhodne gaya tha…aisa dil bolra tha, unke saath main bhi aajau…

Acha main jo bhi bolna hai next letter me likhruYe letter main apne hath se likha dekho Isku taweez banake galle me dallo

Aapka Allah Hafiz

 Assalamulaikum Munne k Abbu,

 humla sob ya Khairiyat se hai, amma Baba, Humare Baba amma Bhaiya bhaina, bhauniya, bhabiya bhanje bhatije sob Khairiyat se hai Apki tabiyat Theek hai Na

Hyderabad me padsu Bhot barish hui Garam mathi pe pani gira to Bhot sondi khusbu Ayi, Amma Bole Dulan Thanda Pada ji Kuch Talan Karo, Main Munne ku Bhijake k Kone ki Dukaan se Pau Kilo Besan aur 4 Palak k Katte mangayi, Mera Bacha Bhigte hue jake laya, Bolra Bazu Walon k Abba Baher se Rain Coata Laye Humare Abba nai bhijate Kya kate

Main boli Late Bole tere Abba Bhi tera waste Raincoat

Haan To Main Kaa Thi

Amma Pakodi Banao Bole Main Besan Bhigari thi k Apki photo pe nazar Padhi Barish ka Din Aur Mitti ki Sondi Khusbu Meku Humare Shadi k Baad k Din Yaad Agaye, Jumagiyo me Apan Purane Bagheaam Ku Gaye the, 1 Dum Barish Hogayi aur Apan Bhigletewe Ghar Ku Aye amma kitte bata kare the, Apan Kitta Bheege the nai Barish me Baagheyaam me, Apko Malom usdin meri thaili me chatri thi par Hona Bolke nai nikali thi

Main Pakodi talke nikali aur Meku wo sab Yaad karke Rona Agaya aur Ansu Tel me Gir Gaye Tel Uchal Gaya Hath pe 4 Chale aye Aap laye so Baher ki Bournol lagayi, Aisa Dikha k Aap Ich Mera Hath Pakde Sab Pakodi Khaye aur mere Hallaq se 1 Pakodi Nai Ningle Gayi Main Kamra Band Karke Apne Shadi ki Cassette Laga k Bhot Royi Fir Tumhari Photo Dekh k Meku Hasi Ayi, Shadi k Jab Apke Baal Tere Naam k Salman k The Aur Ab Aap Interval k Baad wale Salman Bangaye

Abhi Kab Tak Rehte Ji Baher Aap, Ajao na, Meku Apki Bhot Yaad Ati Nai Nai Abhi To Apne Bache Bade Hore Naziya, Asiya Aur Shaziya ki Shadi Hogayi aur Munnu Bablu Engineer Doctor Bangaye Baad Aap Ana Magar, Apan Ye Sab Bacho k Khatir Karre Na aakhir

Waise Humloga Padso Bazu Wale Khala k Bhau k Bhai ki Shadi me Gaye the, Pallavi Garden me Waa Bhot Acha Intezam Tha Khane ka main Bhi boli Naziya ki Shadi humla yaich karinge, Ice Cream ka Meetha Khaye Jab Meku Aap Famous se ice Cream Late the so Yaad agaya, Main Rona ara tha, Naziya Boli Ammi Makeup Kharaab Hojata to Main Ruk Gayi Haan waa Shadi me Dulhan ki Khala Ku Apni Naziya Pasand Agayi Meku Puche Unka Bacha America me Engineer Hai Kate

Main Boli Meri Bachi Abhi Choti Hai Bolke Taaldi, Mere Shohar Bahar hai so Malom Meku Dard Main apni Bachi ku Bahar Hai so Ladke ku nai deti Par Kal Phone Kare ki Bacha Dulhan ku America Leke jata kate shadi k Baad main Khat k Peeche Photo Chipkayi Dekhlo Aap Amma ku Nakko bolo Abhi se, nai to meri Bachi ka Jeena Haram Kardete uno Itna Makeup Kyun Kare Bolke

Waise Ab Asiya Aur Shaziya Bhi Bade Hogaye Ate time Humlo k waste Burqe lao Mere liye, Amma, Naziya, Shaziya aur Asiya Total 5, shameem api fareen api aur unke Bacho k waste Nakko lao, Gaye so baar Ich diye to ye Burqe to Shahraan me Bhi Milte Bolke Mu teda kare the

Munnu Bablu Bade Hore Unlo k waste Zara Badam, Piste, Aqrot anjeer bhejo ji Bazu Walon k bache Khelne aye jab Jeba Bhar k Late kate ye sab Apan Bacho ku Muthi Bhar k to b dinge 

Bacho k Exama Chalre Pani Padte Ich Light Chalegayi Munnu Bablu Sogaye par Apne teeno Bachiya Chirag me padhe Aap ate time 1 Emergency Light lao na ji Bachi Padte Padte Sogaye Subha Bablu Khelte Khelte Chiragh Phodiya amma Usku marne k waste bhage to kanch Chubgayi Dawakhane ku Leke jake 3 take dalana Pada

Mere bache k Naam ki fateha padhre Tumhare amma Mera Bacha Unka Kuch b Nai Hona, Ghalti se Kara na une Hona Bolke Nai Kara, Mere Bache ku Tok Tok k adha kardere Apke amma Nai Jeeta Mera Bacha Aisa logo k Mu me Raha to Shameem apa ki Bachi ki shadi hai kate 50000 Hona kate main boli Pehle Ich inka kafeel tanqa nai dera Humla Ich Ghar k Kiraye pe guzara karre, Aisa Bole to kate Apne Jhirre wala Ghar rehan pe deke Unku paise Dena kate, amma papera Nikal k dere the Main Apki Khasam dalke rokli Kya Ji Apne Bachiya Bhi Hai na Aisa Khali Dusro k bare me nai Sochna

Acha Barish se Yaad Aya apni chat tapakri ji Aap aye jab saudi se 1 Badi plastic lau Apan chat pe daldinge bache School arabi tuition barabar Jare, Padso molsab puchre ki 2 Saal pehle Tasbi aur Jaey Namaz Diye the Abba Aye to Kuch khayal karna kate main boli Theek hai molsab aye jab ka Dekhinge

Apne Bache Badi Claso me Agaye ate time Nawe baiga aur Pencila pena Leke Aao

Ab Dhupkala Shuru Hora bache bolre summer Camp me jate kate main boli nai beta Apan Abhi utte bade shauqa nai karsakte

Sahi nai hai kate waha ka mahol

Acha Naziya Bolri Thi Yaa b kate 3G Network Agaya

Usku Double Camera k Phone Hona Kate Kya ki Video Call karsakte kate na Usme

Wo Kya Ki Face ki Book Nikla Kate na Ji

Naziya Shaziya aur Asiya Din Bhar Shameem Api aur Fareen Api k Bachiyo se Baat Karte Rehte Kya pakaye Khaye

Photua Bhejlete Rehte

Aap Bhi Face ki Book Lelo na ji Apan Bhi Din Bhar Baat karinge

Aap laye so VCP Kharaab Hogaya Bole Main Apne Shadi k Cassette Ki DVD Banayi par Une Ujaad Purane Gaane Hata k Nawe Gaane Dala

Meku Zara Bhi ache nai Dikhre

Aap ate time 1 DVD Player lao ji

Tv pe Dance Show Dekh k Apne Bache Bhi Nachre

Par Awaz barabar se nai jamri, Bazu Walon k Paas Baher se Home theater Laye kate

Apne Bache Bahar to nai jate Aap Agar wo b laye to bache Nach k Khush Hojate

Bazu wale Awaz Badhaye to Samana Hilke Girgaye amma bolre Zal Zala Aya kate main haske Khamosh Hogayi

Munnu Bablu bolre ab Apan Bhi Abba ku Bolke isse bada music system mangake Bazu Walon k pure samana tod dinge

Aap k mamu aye the gaon se Apne khet me Chana pere the kate kaunki dushmani se anch lagadiye puri fasal jalgayi kate, main boli mere Bacho ki Jaan ka satkha gaya

Meku Tumhare Mamu pe Ich shak hai Gaon me Apna Kaun dushman Acha Aap door Rehte main Kyku Apko ye sab tensiona deriyun

Aap Kab are, Apne city me nawa airport bana shamshabad pe Sab jane Dekhte bolre Main sochriyun Apne Bacho ki school ki bus Baat karlena Acha rehta

Acha main ye Khat Jaldi me likhriyun Fir tafseel se likhtiyun Aap apni sehat ka khayal rakho

Zyada Cigretta Nakko piyo, Meku Malom Aap loga raato me jag jag k patte khelte aur Kya karte so, Apna khayal rakho Zyada b mehnat Nakko Karo, Ya k tensiona Nakko liyo

Faqt Apki

Mumtaz

Operator : Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?
Customer: Yeah! Hold on….. My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610

Operator : OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. You are calling from you home number now.
Customer: (Astronished) How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : We are connected to the system, Sir.

Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza…
Operator : That’s not a good idea Sir.

Customer: How come?
Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.

Customer: What?… What do you recommend then?
Operator : Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it.
Customer: How do you know for sure?
Operator : You borrowed a book entitled ‘Popular Hokkien Dishes’ from the National Library last week, sir.

Customer: OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then.
Operator : That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450.

Customer: Can I pay by! credit card?
Operator : I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $1,51,758 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.

Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.
Operator : You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve even your overdraft limit.

Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?
Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.
Customer: What?
Operator : According to the details in system ,you own a motorcycle registration number 1123.
Customer: ” ????” (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)

Operator : Is there anything else, sir?
Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?
Operator : We normally would sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic… In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offer for you.

Customer: (now pissed) ***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))
Operator: Better watch your language sir. Remember on 15th July 2007 you were imprisoned for 2 months and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language against a policeman…?

Customer: Faints…

Patni Pati Ko Maar Rahi Thi
Padosi-Kyu Maar Rahi Ho?
Patni-Inko Call Kiya To 1Ladki Boli,
Aap Jisse Sampark Karna Chahate Ho,Wo Abhi Vyast Hai

An old man married a young Girl,

Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein

Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?

Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.

There is no wind in the football.

I talk, he talk, why you middle talk?

You rotate the ground 4 times.

You go & under stand the tree.

I’ ll give clap on your face.

Bring your parents with your mother & father.

Why Haircut not cut

Why Are You looking Outside at the Monkeys When I’m there in the Class?

Throw that paper in Dustbin or I will Throw Myself

Pvt Company….Yes Papa…..

Any Motivation…No Papa…

Many Tension…..Yes Papa…..

Do u Sleep well…..No Papa…..

Onsite Opportunity….No papa….

Boss Ki Galiyan….Yes Papa………

Increment …..Ha ha ha

Lets Have a look at shopping decisions taken by man and woman : )

_________________________________________________________
 
THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE ENTIRE DECADE!!!!
 
Sachin Tendulkar’s mothers name is RAJNI Tendulkar…
 
And his coach’s name is ramaKANT J
 
Is there a need to say anything beyond this???
 
 
 
 

_________________________________________________________
Once a farmer replaces scare crow in the farm with Rajnikant’s statue…
 
..And Birds returned grains they took last year as well
 
 
 
_________________________________________________________
 
If Rajni works in BPO, clients would work in shifts!
 
 
_________________________________________________________
Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking – “Solve any 100 questions”
 
He solved all 150 and wrote, ” Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!”
 
_________________________________________________________
 
One day Rajnikant thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play….
 
_________________________________________________________
 
Tonight at 9 Rajnikant can be seen in the sky… as he is participating in the Asian Games’ high jump event…
 
_________________________________________________________
 
What do you think Vodafone 3G tag line should be :-
Faster ..
Better…
RAJNIKANT….
 
 
No it should be (strictly)
 
RAJNIKANT.
RAJNIKANT..
RAJNIKANT…
 
Mind it
_________________________________________________________
 
Rajnikanth’s next project is the Titanic in Tamil. However, Rajni has twisted the climax. Both the lead actors survive. Rajni swims
across the Atlantic Ocean with the heroine in one hand and… the Titanic in the other
 
_________________________________________________________
 
“Rajnikanth doesn’t breathe…air comes to hide in his lungs”
 
_________________________________________________________
 
“Who says the world will be destroyed in Dec 2012…..Rajnikant just bought a Laptop with three years warranty”…..:P
_________________________________________________________
 
 
Rajni can walk  faster than light….
 
“Rajni cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another”.
 
_________________________________________________________
Law of Conservation of Rajni
 
 
All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did…
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa… mind it!!!
_________________________________________________________
 
Once a photo of Rajnikant was given for Xerox. Don’t even try to guess what happened…

We got two copies of the Xerox machine.
 
 
_________________________________________________________
 
One more:
 
Once upon a time
Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth
 
Today that powder is known as
 
“AMBUJA CEMENT”