Walekumassalam

 Main Khairiyat se hoon Aisa amma baba ki Sugar badhgayi Humare dost are next week main ya se sugar test karne ki machine aur sugar free ki sakkar bhijatu

Are kya ji mere amma bawa tumhare amma bawa nai hote Zara mohabbat se leke chalna Nai to logan tumhare upar ich ilzama dalte

Aur wo Mankhao college me kyku dale baby ku Shaher me dusre collega nai the Ya humare dosta bolre the Naye collega khule kate na Narayana, Chaitanya unla Jaan pe khade rahe jaisa padhate kate na wa kyku nai dale Khair ab ya se nikal k wa nakko dalo

 Paise ya jhad pe nai ugre Aur main dekhliya baby ku Fb pe main bhi Uska Baap hoon Par une meri beti ich hai 1 hushari kari dekho photo nai lagayi so aur usku data do ki photo lagana bhi nai

 Pura humare khandan peich gayi ine info kuch bhi nai di Par ye Raat Raat bhari jagi to sehat girti na To tum Uska charger chupa lo charging nai rahi to kaisa khulta phone Aur ab ye Saal akhri kardo bolo college ka

 Bas bhot padhli une humare ku usku naukri nai karana hai Main uske waste humare Dosto k beto se baat chalaru

Usku wo nargis photo studio me leke jake photua utarao Zara Aur leke jane se pehle Zara beauty parlor ku leke Jao Are hau bhai malom tumhare ku make up karne ata par usku mere ku pasand nai karna hai dusro ku dikhana rehta photo

Main sochru ya settle Ladke se karadena Uska Rishta Bas 1 baat ka khayal rakho ki une Facebook pe photo nai lagana aur video chat nai karna

Acha bablu ki baat une to pakka tumhare bhaiyo pe gaya tumhare Bhaiya kaunsa pehli baar me nikale the 10th Pure LLMF hai(Latak Latak k matric Fail)

Jando fikar nakko karo bas usku Zara computer pe hath saaf karlo bolo aur uski date of birth bada k passport nikalo main ya se visa bhijatu ya lake hand pe letu zalil ku

Bawa ya bail k jaisa rab rab k paise kamara une ayyashi karra Ya aya to malom hota paisa kisku bolte

Aur usku pulsar hona kate usku bolo bawa jahez me ayi so chetak 1985 se ghasre aur usku pulsar hona kate leke Jao bolo usku meri chetak aur RC tumhare paas rakho nai to une bech linga kai

 Haan wo car ki baat hogayi main ate kich dost airport ku lake khada kardeta humari car Aur ye bache bigadre so sob tumhare kamaa hai, tumhare kuich khahish thi na main baher jana so Main raha to uth ku laat baith ku laat de k line pe rakhta tha unlo ku

Khair dori apne hath me hai abhi main aru na alge Ramzaan me

Ab aru bole to tumhare lambe lista nakko banao samano k Ya bhi reta badhgaye aur custom wale nai chodre Aaj kal zyada saman

Acha family visa, hau shadi k time pe family visa tha par jub tumhara passport nai bana aur ab main jab bhi visa nikal ne k paise jamaica kartu tumhara phone ajata, Ammi ki tabiyat kharaab, bawa k testa karana hai, bhai ki shadi, Bhain ki salgira, bhanji ka rasam, Bhanje ka Haqiqa, Bazu walon ki ghar bharani

 Paise bhej dena padta tum ye kharche khatam kare to main family visa ka kuch karsaktu Acha wo humari Gaon ki zamin ka kya hua Tumhare mamu fasal k paise to dere na lake barabar

Acha wo Ghar ka kiraya Makandaro ku bolo ki humare shohar k kafeel ki Biwi margayi to uneich tanqa time pe nai dera next year se badhate bolo Main ya se ate time 3 4 sent k bottle lake settlement kardetu Are nai bhai din bhar Tumhari yaad ati Isiliye video chat kartu na 1 kaam karo jummerat k din amma baba aur bablu ku Baji k paas bhejdo aur baby ku bolo video chat start karke deti aur usku padhte baitho bolo Aur wo Nimbuz se call kara to Acha rehta bolke k kartu main Ya din bhar kaam rehta aur Tumhari yaad ati to main Tumhari photo dekh k khush hotu Wo laal sadi wali jisme tum bala khulle rakhe the nai wo Zara baby ki shadi hojane do aur bablu ya settle hogaya to main Exit laga k ajatu hyderabad ku Kiske waste karru main ye sob Tumlo k waste na Acha main jo bhi bolna hai next letter me likhruYe letter main apne hath se likha dekho Isku taweez banake galle me dallo Allah Hafiz Walekumassalam Main Khairiyat se hoon Aisa amma baba ki Sugar badhgayi Humare dost are next week main ya se sugar test karne ki machine aur sugar free ki sakkar bhijatu Are kya ji mere amma bawa tumhare amma bawa nai hote Zara mohabbat se leke chalna Nai to logan tumhare upar ich ilzama dalte Aur wo Mankhao college me kyku dale baby ku Shaher me dusre collega nai the Ya humare dosta bolre the Naye collega khule kate na Narayana, Chaitanya unla Jaan pe khade rahe jaisa padhate kate na wa kyku nai dale Khair ab ya se nikal k wa nakko dalo Paise ya jhad pe nai ugre Aur main dekhliya baby ku Fb pe main bhi Uska Baap hoon Par une meri beti ich hai 1 hushari kari dekho photo nai lagayi so aur usku data do ki photo lagana bhi nai Pura humare khandan peich gayi ine info kuch bhi nai di Par ye Raat Raat bhari jagi to sehat girti na To tum Uska charger chupa lo charging nai rahi to kaisa khulta phone Aur ab ye Saal akhri kardo bolo college ka Bas bhot padhli une humare ku usku naukri nai karana hai Main uske waste humare Dosto k beto se baat chalaru Usku wo nargis photo studio me leke jake photua utarao Zara Aur leke jane se pehle Zara beauty parlor ku leke Jao Are hau bhai malom tumhare ku make up karne ata par usku mere ku pasand nai karna hai dusro ku dikhana rehta photo Main sochru ya settle Ladke se karadena Uska Rishta Bas 1 baat ka khayal rakho ki une Facebook pe photo nai lagana aur video chat nai karna Acha bablu ki baat une to pakka tumhare bhaiyo pe gaya tumhare Bhaiya kaunsa pehli baar me nikale the 10th Pure LLMF hai(Latak Latak k matric Fail) Jando fikar nakko karo bas usku Zara computer pe hath saaf karlo bolo aur uski date of birth bada k passport nikalo main ya se visa bhijatu ya lake hand pe letu zalil ku Bawa ya bail k jaisa rab rab k paise kamara une ayyashi karra Ya aya to malom hota paisa kisku bolte Aur usku pulsar hona kate usku bolo bawa jahez me ayi so chetak 1985 se ghasre aur usku pulsar hona kate leke Jao bolo usku meri chetak aur RC tumhare paas rakho nai to une bech linga kai Haan wo car ki baat hogayi main ate kich dost airport ku lake khada kardeta humari car Aur ye bache bigadre so sob tumhare kamaa hai, tumhare kuich khahish thi na main baher jana so Main raha to uth ku laat baith ku laat de k line pe rakhta tha unlo ku Khair dori apne hath me hai abhi main aru na alge Ramzaan me Ab aru bole to tumhare lambe lista nakko banao samano k Ya bhi reta badhgaye aur custom wale nai chodre Aaj kal zyada saman Acha family visa, hau shadi k time pe family visa tha par jub tumhara passport nai bana aur ab main jab bhi visa nikal ne k paise jamaica kartu tumhara phone ajata, Ammi ki tabiyat kharaab, bawa k testa karana hai, bhai ki shadi, Bhain ki salgira, bhanji ka rasam, Bhanje ka Haqiqa, Bazu walon ki ghar bharani Paise bhej dena padta tum ye kharche khatam kare to main family visa ka kuch karsaktu Acha wo humari Gaon ki zamin ka kya hua Tumhare mamu fasal k paise to dere na lake barabar Acha wo Ghar ka kiraya Makandaro ku bolo ki humare shohar k kafeel ki Biwi margayi to uneich tanqa time pe nai dera next year se badhate bolo Main ya se ate time 3 4 sent k bottle lake settlement kardetu Are nai bhai din bhar Tumhari yaad ati Isiliye video chat kartu na 1 kaam karo jummerat k din amma baba aur bablu ku Baji k paas bhejdo aur baby ku bolo video chat start karke deti aur usku padhte baitho bolo Aur wo Nimbuz se call kara to Acha rehta bolke k kartu main Ya din bhar kaam rehta aur Tumhari yaad ati to main Tumhari photo dekh k khush hotu Wo laal sadi wali jisme tum bala khulle rakhe the nai wo Zara baby ki shadi hojane do aur bablu ya settle hogaya to main Exit laga k ajatu hyderabad ku Kiske waste karru main ye sob Tumlo k waste na

Tumlogo ki bhot yaad aati, padhsu woh ‘Chitthi aayi hai’ Gaana sunke rona aara tha… Apni Shaadi ki cassete aur Bachcho ki saalgirah ki cd lagaake tumlo ku dekhlete rehtu…

Padhsu hamare dost hyderabad ku jaare the, unku airport ku chhodne gaya tha…aisa dil bolra tha, unke saath main bhi aajau…

Acha main jo bhi bolna hai next letter me likhruYe letter main apne hath se likha dekho Isku taweez banake galle me dallo

Aapka Allah Hafiz

*ing: Salim the cab driver, Balraj the Supervisor and other drivers

Supervisor: Salim bhai line pe aao.

Salim: Aan ustaad bolo

Supervisor: Suvarna medam ko pickup karna tha kya hua

Salim: Hau ustaad, udaritch jaaroon

Supervisor: Kab jaate miya, rasta maalum?

Salim: kya baat karre, merkoo maalum, wohitch birdge kane hain na, wahaan jaage line pe aatoon.

10 min later…

Supervisor: Salim line pe aao, Salim line pe aao…. Kahaan ho message clear hain?

Some other driver: Bilkul kilear hain, paani hain paani

Supervisor: Kaun bola, yahaan channel number dikhra, aane ke baad kilometaraan kat kartoon

Some other driver: aan karlo karlo

Salim: Haan Haan, Balraj anna (supervisor), yeh galli mein hoon, doosra ya teesra ghar hain?

Supervisor: Gaadi aage leke jaa, ek ghar ke paas kutta bhownkta, vohitch ghar hain

5 min later

Salim: Balraj line pe aao, Balraj line pe aao

Supervisor: Haan bolo

Salim: Yahaan bahut kutte bhownkrey

Supervisor: Tereko dekhoto koi bhi kutta bhownkta, haaran baja medam aate…

By the time they finished their conversation, all of us in the cab were in splits laughing. You will relate to the above if you know Hyderabadi accent and lingo. Watch “Angrez” a movie full of Hyderabadi language, you will be up to speed totally

Author: Unknown

1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.

 

2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman; They’ll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

And lastly…

9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.

Operator : Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?
Customer: Yeah! Hold on….. My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610

Operator : OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. You are calling from you home number now.
Customer: (Astronished) How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : We are connected to the system, Sir.

Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza…
Operator : That’s not a good idea Sir.

Customer: How come?
Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.

Customer: What?… What do you recommend then?
Operator : Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it.
Customer: How do you know for sure?
Operator : You borrowed a book entitled ‘Popular Hokkien Dishes’ from the National Library last week, sir.

Customer: OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then.
Operator : That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450.

Customer: Can I pay by! credit card?
Operator : I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $1,51,758 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.

Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.
Operator : You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve even your overdraft limit.

Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?
Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.
Customer: What?
Operator : According to the details in system ,you own a motorcycle registration number 1123.
Customer: ” ????” (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)

Operator : Is there anything else, sir?
Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?
Operator : We normally would sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic… In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offer for you.

Customer: (now pissed) ***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))
Operator: Better watch your language sir. Remember on 15th July 2007 you were imprisoned for 2 months and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language against a policeman…?

Customer: Faints…

Fame

Luxury

does not always makes a man happy

Patni Pati Ko Maar Rahi Thi
Padosi-Kyu Maar Rahi Ho?
Patni-Inko Call Kiya To 1Ladki Boli,
Aap Jisse Sampark Karna Chahate Ho,Wo Abhi Vyast Hai

An old man married a young Girl,

Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein

Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?

Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.

There is no wind in the football.

I talk, he talk, why you middle talk?

You rotate the ground 4 times.

You go & under stand the tree.

I’ ll give clap on your face.

Bring your parents with your mother & father.

Why Haircut not cut

Why Are You looking Outside at the Monkeys When I’m there in the Class?

Throw that paper in Dustbin or I will Throw Myself