Gud marning, Ladies and Gen’lemen. P’rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri Akal.

wahe guru is jai…

On behalf of Captaan Balbir Singh ‘Bobby’, this is Your Flight Supervisor Banta Singh “Bunty” welcoming to you on the P’njaab Airways flight no. 9211 (Nau Do > Gyaraah) to Ludhiana.

We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b’cause the sun was not shining brightly in the fog. And we are knowing the sun does not shine in the night.

Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good Luck we can be landing d’rectly in your v’llage. P’njaab Airways has exc’llant record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the fully trained tarrists and hijackers are afraid to fly with us.

I am pleased to ‘nounce that starting this year over 90% of our p’ssaingers have reached to their dest’nation. For the rest 10%, the P’njaab Airways staff has lots of experience for consoling the next-of-kin.

Our Hostess Bubbly Kaur will be haippy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.

If engines are too noisy, on p’ssainger request, we can turn them off for comfart, but your flight will become late and you may become the late also.

For our religious p’ssaingers, we are the only airline who can help you to contact God at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, Holy Books will be quickly distributed.

We regret that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we could not record it from the tallyvision due to power cut. But we will be flying right naxt to Air India, where their movie can be seen from the right side cabin windows. These windows have been opened for your viewing convenience.